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A slightly more mature lady has friends—but she sure as shit doesn’t need their permission to live her life.

Hard as it may be to imagine a world before Facebook, the fact is, there was one—and I, along with many of my lady cohorts, lived in it. I don’t need to be omnipresent, liking everything he says or does, and I don’t have to monitor what I say, worrying it’ll be taken a certain way.

“Younger guys tend to be more active, have less baggage,” says Soletti, an event planner who regularly hosts dating mixers.

“You’re less likely to date a younger guy who’s been divorced, has children or has sexual performance issues.” In 2011, she met Juan Cabrera, now 34, at one of her mixers and soon fell in love. “Millennial men are career-focused and want to travel with successful women and conquer the world together,” says Soletti, who notes she’s seen an uptick in established women signing up specifically to meet younger bucks at her speed-dating events.

She had access to a world I didn’t, and she had done all the things I hadn’t done yet,” he said.

(This is code for, “I dread clingy girls who abandon their own ships the moment we have sex, and set up camp on my shore.”) Also, the fact that an older woman has her own money means she likely worked hard to get it. You may buy into the idea that all older women are “desperate.” Granted, some are. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t want marriage/kids, because she might—but if so, she’ll be pretty clear about it up front.A friend of mine dated a 40-year-old woman when he was 22 and new to New York.“She picked the restaurants, paid for things, took me places.Terri Trespicio is a media personality & lifestyle expert. When it came to finding love in New York, Amber Soletti, a 42-year-old who lives in the West Village, had no luck dating older guys or men her own age.

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